Human Design Projector, Wanda Henke, Shares Her Story of Exhaustion and Recovery:
Hi everyone! I thought I would share my experience with extreme projector exhaustion. I’m sharing now because I want to encourage those of you who are also feeling this – it can get better if you allow yourself enough time to recuperate.
Even though I learned about Human Design about 5 years ago, I really did not understand the exhaustion piece for projectors until recently. I’m in my mid 60s, so I have been living like a Generator trying to be a Manifestor for a long time. I was extreme in my desire to outwork everyone else. Of course, I was just trying to get that recognition that we projectors need and want so badly. I retired from my latest career as a high school math teacher last July. I had not planned to retire at this time – I really could not afford to retire – but the situation at my school became untenable. I was teaching full-time at a public high school and part-time at my state’s online public high school. Once I retired, I could not work for the state at all for 6 months. I was really scared about the money piece, but by the time I actually stopped working, I was so exhausted I could hardly breathe. I had been exhausted for years, but I had kept pushing because I felt I had to.
I won’t go into details about my finances because I don’t want to remind myself of that negative energy, but basically it was a total collapse. The good news is that after 6 months of almost total rest, I finally feel like I will be able to “live” again. I have spent a lot of time – sometimes many days in a row – doing nothing but watching movies or old TV shows. Reading a book took too much energy. I fought this need to do absolutely nothing at first. I told myself a week was enough, then a month was enough. Finally after I got into this course (The Projector’s Survival Study Program) and listened to the recordings I gave in and decided not to worry about whether or not I looked “weak” to my relatives and not to worry about whether or not I would have enough money to meet the few obligations I had left. I allowed myself to do nothing – for days on end. I just listened to my spleen and did only those things I felt like doing.
Gradually, I began to do some reading and studying instead of TV. I had one thing that I did each week that took all day and was exhausting, but it was not something I could give up. At first, I would sit for 3 or 4 days and do nothing after this trip. The recovery time became less and less as the weeks went by. About 2 weeks ago, I decided to do some errands the day after my trip. I was very pleasantly (surprised) to find that I was not exhausted. I started to get some real inspiration and about 2 weeks ago, I had a vision of the perfect next venture for me. I had this idea when I originally decided to retire, but at that time it seemed like it would be too slow to make money and too much work to accomplish. Now it seems like it will just flow and I don’t feel any struggle. I know the money will come as it needs to. That part is already starting. When I contacted the online school to let them know that my 6-month exile was over, they were excited to have me back and asked me to teach 2 sections this semester. This is the perfect amount of work for a projector and will allow me to move up from survival while I start to put the pieces of my new venture in place. I’m doing my new venture as a projector – I will just do what I love to do and let those who want to partake of my wisdom come to me. Life is good and getting better! 🙂
If you are just starting to recover from Projector Exhaustion – it will get better if you just allow yourself time to recover!
Wanda currently teaches high school math online with the North Carolina Virtual Public School. She retired last summer from teaching math face to face. Prior to teaching math, Wanda was an earthquake engineer. She and her husband developed a soil testing device used in earthquake engineering applications. Wanda found Human Design about 5 years ago, but did not really start trying to understand the implications of being a Projector until about 6 months ago. Wanda feels that Human Design is the key to successfully using all the wonderful self-improvement tools that we have today. Her first goal is to understand and love the unique person that she is.