Category Archives: bitterness

How to Recognize Projector Bitterness

barbed wire fenceBitterness is like a barbed wire fence which gets erected when Human Design Projectors are not living as their true selves.  It keeps the true nature of the Projector locked behind a prickly, painful barrier which repel the people that they are here to serve.  As you probably already know, bitterness is the emotional theme Projectors experience when they are not following their strategy and authority… in Human Design speak… when they’re living their “not-self”.

If you’re a Projector struggling with recognizing bitterness when it shows up in your life, you’re not alone.  If you want to know why it can be a challenge to see it, read: Why You May Not Know You’re Bitter.

There are many ways to experience bitterness that may go unnoticed, or may be minimized due to the “icky” nature of the feelings.  But it’s important to identify it and own it for what it is.  I did some research on common definitions for bitterness and I want to share them with you here, so that you can get a better picture of how you may be experiencing it in your life:

Bitterness Definitions

  • Anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly
  • Distasteful or distressing to the mind
  • Sharply unpleasant
  • Stinging
  • Strong animosity
  • Resentment
  • Harshness
  • Pain
  • Grief
  • Distress

Where do you feel like a victim of unfair treatment?

What unpleasant or displeasing thoughts play over and over in our mind?

Where do you hold animosity toward another?

How are you living in harshness?

These questions will help you take inventory of the bitterness in your life.  Your ability to align with the magnificently empowered version of yourself that you came here to be, starts with recognizing the “icky”, shadow, flip side of your true Projector nature.  Own it and it loses its grip.  Own it to discover what keeps you from fully settling in to your strategy.  Own it to free yourself and move into the joy and success you’re here to have.

butterfly flowerThis is just a small part of what is covered in the Bitterness to Joy Program.  You’re invited to join us!

























Why You May Not Know You’re Bitter

A lot of Human Design Projectors struggle with the concept of bitterness.  And the question that often comes up in the Projector community is “How do I know if I’m bitter?”.

You would think we would know right?  But believe it or not, most forms of Projector bitterness go unnoticed.  They get internalized to the point where we hide them from ourselves.  So initially it could be hard to root out bitterness and see it for what it is.  We all know about the ugly, vindictive, hateful word hurdling, resentment festering forms of expression that bitterness can take.  But because many of us are high functioning human beings, our expression or experience of bitterness may be so refined and hidden that even we, who harbor it innately in our systems, can’t spot it for what it is.

Why You May Not Know You’re Bitter

Social conventions don’t allow us to walk around spewing hate and discontent indiscriminately out into the atmosphere… that is if we want to be liked and noticed for the good that we put into the world.  And Projectors very much want to be noticed… i.e. recognized. And we very much want to put good into the world.  Actually our auras are constantly putting good, or whatever we’re radiating, directly into other people.  We are naturally created to be helping beings who need other people to accept our wisdom and assistance.  So for the most part, we have learned that the only way to do what we do and get what we need is to be nice and sweet.

Well niceness and sweetness only go so far when you’re around people who don’t get you.  But we don’t always have avenues to express the true feelings that surface when our helpfulness or our very being is not fully accepted, understood or recognized.  Even if we recognize our feelings, we may not have the self esteem or self compassion to manage ourselves in the midst of the harshness we’re experiencing.  There also may not be an outlet for our responses and emotions even if we are managing them.  So they accumulate and become almost an entity within themselves.  We split them off from who we believe ourselves to be.  This is often called the “shadow” in psychology and personal growth world.

If you’re grappling with seeing how bitterness shows up in your life, think back to the last time someone cut you off in mid-sentence or talked over you.  Or try to remember a time when you were expressing yourself and the other person in the room just didn’t hear you.  What did you feel?  If it was unpleasant it was probably bitterness.  The bigger question is what did you do with that feeling?  If you got louder, indignant or angry,  this is bitterness in it’s full expression.  If you swallowed your pain or tried to ignore it, you cast those feelings into the shadows of your awareness.

What would it be like to be relaxed and happy for real?  … to find yourself naturally gravitating toward people who stop and listen to you, rather than cut you off … to no longer be affected by those family members and old relationships where you felt you had to either suck it up and shut up or endure the wrath of endless battles to be seen?

Bitterness can be like a poison when you aren’t recognizing it.  It can take you down when it lurks in the shadows.  It’s like a silent killer of the joy, vitality and natural attractiveness that is so essential for Projectors to live.

Are you pretending to be happy, light and free because you were told you need to enjoy your life while you’re waiting?  Are you fed up with pretending?

You’re invited to join us for the “Bitterness to Joy” created especially for Projectors.

How to Know When You’re Being Conditioned

Here is a great video from Zeno (a Human Design Projector) about how to recognize when you’re being conditioned.  She starts by talking about how to recognize conditioning in the heart / will center and makes some suggestions about how to deal with it. Zeno brings up a very valuable question in this video.

“How are you reacting to being conditioned?”

Conditioning is a fact of life.  We are all conditioned, either by others or by the transits, all the time.  Awareness of how you are reacting to being conditioned is a key to successfully dealing with the Projector not-self theme of bitterness.  Mismanaged conditioning is a huge source of pain for all Human Design types.  And for Projectors it can fuel bitterness to the point where it throws you out of balance with your true nature.

In the Bitterness to Joy Program you get to explore how you are reacting to conditioning  in your life (past and present) in order to understand how it is fueling your bitterness.  

Is bitterness keeping you from your joy?

You’re invited to join us for the Bitterness to Joy Program!

Starting March 10th!

A program for overcoming Human Design Projector Bitterness…

Transform Bitterness to Embrace Joy

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Do you hate feeling bitter?

Is waiting making your bitterness worse?

Is bitterness keeping you from feeling your joy?

What if you could transform your bitterness so it could guide you to your joy?

Read More

Projector Bitterness Is Not a Curse

barbed wire fenceWhen Human Design Projectors experience the not-self theme of bitterness it’s like a barbed wire fence which hinders the flow of connection and invitations.  Recently a Projector asked me how to get rid of bitterness.  She saw it very clearly in herself and it was eating her up.  As we worked together it became clear that the deep conditioning in her open centers was fueling much of her bitterness.  Because she was newly embarking upon her Human Design experiment much of this conditioning was coming up in technicolor to facilitate her awareness of it.  In time the bitterness will abate, but for now it is her best friend that let’s her know when and how she is out of balance with her true nature.  It’s not a curse or a punishment.  It’s an integral part of the Projector’s guidance system.

The not-self theme is always present.  It’s like the underlying go-to emotion in everyone’s life regardless of your Human Design type.  It doesn’t matter how “good” you get at following your strategy.  It never goes away.  I have observed the natural frustration in Generators, the anger which rises in Manifestors and of course the bitterness which exudes from Projectors, sometimes when they don’t know it themselves.  Regardless of your type, when you’re following your strategy the emotional ground substance embodied in your theme will eventually no longer control you.  It will become a very valuable part of you which lets you know when you’re off track or not taking care of yourself.

As a Projector it’s not always easy to see when bitterness is coming up.  And depending on the baggage of past conditioning that you’re experiencing in the present moment, it’s not always easy to identify or deal with bitterness as it crops up.  Sometimes it consumes you, and unlike the client who knew it was eating her up, it may just be the sea that you swim in without even knowing.  We’re not here to know ourselves.  We’re here to know others.  But the knowing of others can get way out of balance when you have a lot of openness in your chart or unhealed pain from the past.  When you carry your conditioning unconsciously, or when you are weighed down by years of painful baggage, bitterness becomes a poison rather than a truth serum.

Do you feel like bitterness is a curse?  Does it overwhelm or elude you?  You’re invited to join us for a four part course especially for Human Design Projectors:

“Transform Bitterness to Embrace Joy”

butterfly flower