Category Archives: Human Design Projector

Setting Boundaries in Relationships – An Emotional Authority Projector’s Experience

Submitted by Robin Rainbow Gate.  This is her story of how she set boundaries with her mother from the wisdom of what she has learned about herself through Human Design.  Robin has an emotional decision making authority, so alludes to the nuances of her feelings as she experiences them in her body.  

Hds Chart Rainbow-Gate, Robin 19611102 00082500

Jan 28, 2015

I have observed super-passivity in my life. I have felt victim to the taking on and in of people’s emotions and the energy of their thoughts. This feels miserable, uncomfortable and unpleasant the majority of the time. I came to dislike, resent and avoid people for their perceived danger. My experience being that most people walk around with negativity and unpleasantness radiating around them. I believed that  to be around them meant I would have no choice but to absorb and experience their yuck and ouch.

I was brought up with emotionally punitive negative feedback for feelings other than happiness. I received no training and found feelings dangerous. Whether I was feeling someone else’s feelings or whether their feelings reflected to me my own disowned, feared and stuffed ones – I have feared and pushed feelings away.

Since learning I am a Human Design Projector about a year ago, I am understanding that I am meant to observe, learn and serve through wisdom and guidance. I am learning that my open centers make me sensitive to the feelings and vibrations put out by others and that  I am designed to feel and learn from these, so that I can later be of service. I’m beginning to have a new attitude towards the unpleasant, uncomfortable energy I can’t help but tune in to. It’s not me, it’s not mine, I do need to feel it, I do not need to take it on or in as “me.” This new information makes living in the world which is inevitably amongst others, more tolerable as I now view it as inocuous, temporary, and for a higher purpose – so I can help in the future.

Lately, I have been questioning how and when to speak up, in the context of having an open throat center. I have a pattern (and gift) of listening deeply and quietly. People feel safe with me and share openly. I feel I don’t know anything about life, living or emotions, so their stories are gifts to me: I learn by listening and feel safer riding on their winds, with them steering, me being taken along as a passenger. More of my extreme passivity. Lately, though, I have had several occasions where I chose silence when I really had something strong to say. I felt remorseful, afterwards: my presence and power had wanted to come forth and out of habit and fear, I didn’t speak my truth.

With this question about speaking at the forefront of my mind and heart, recent experiences have brought long awaited changes:  I’m learning to feel the feelings that pass through me as my own, rather than rejecting them as “theirs” or as having the power to contaminate and take over. I’ve decided to take to heart and open to the concept that everything I experience outside of me is a reflection of me on the inside. As a result, I’m growing in love and compassion for myself, forgiveness and acceptance of my little girl, my parents, and the divine, all of whom I have been quite angry with and blaming of.

Into the mix is a growing and developing ability to set boundaries. The old passivity, which partially stemmed from believing I had no choice, no power, and no deserving, is dissolving away as I recognize and speak up on behalf of my limits.

Last week, I told my mom I would not make her a rice cake, turkey and guacamole  open face sandwhich. She’d been devestatingly depressed and was about to get fired by her physical therapist as her attitude was preventing her physical progress, necessary for Medicare to continue paying for the help. She had been hiding or sulking in her brown recliner for months, barely leaving the four walls of her apartment, losing confidence in her ability to walk, mourning the loss of urinary continence and control of her life in general. She was in the wide “end zone”, wavering between choosing life and choosing death. When her PT made it clear that my mom’s obstacle was mental and emotional and not physical, it effected my approach to my mom. I had been with her open-heartedly, affirming her sadness and fear as natural grieving at this stage of her life. Increasingly, though, as she sank deeper into the bottom of  her depression, a new energy emerged:  she was almost gleeful at all the help she could now ask for. Red flag for me. As a child I felt her suck out my beautiful energy to feed herself.

The afternoon  before the denied turkey and rice cake, she had looked up at me smiling, “I need constant supervision.” Wheeling her around in a wheelchair when it was a choice and not a necessity did not garner long-term sympathy from me. Later, asking me to make her a rice cake sandwhich for dinner instead of eating the hot one that was being made for her by the cook at her assisted living facility, where she would eat among others in the dining room, was the last straw. It was first time I had set a boundary with my mom, and practically with anyone. I told her I would not. I would not support her going back to her four walls, not seeing people, not eating a proper meal. I told her that I was saturated with her fear and depression and not doing anything to help herself. I congratulated her for asking for what she wanted, and said, “I’m not angry, but just because you ask, doesn’t mean I’m on the same page. “  I kissed her on her cheek and left, saying, “I’m leaving now. I’ll check in tomorrow.” I had no choice but to do what I did. I felt it in every cell of my body, which would literally not permit me to make her that snack in her apartment. To do so would have been calluding and enabling and I would not do that.  Walking home, at first I felt amazed and proud. Had I really done that? Soon enough, though, the elation was replaced with fear about being mean, insensitive, cruel, that my sisters would fire me from the caretaking of my mom.

The next day, in the throes of self-doubt and anger which had welled up, I wasn’t ready to see my mom yet, but guilt had me go over anyhow. Intuitively directed to enter the facility a different way than I normally do, I came upon a surprising vision through the dining room windows: out in the garden where the green chairs and gliders were, was my mom, sitting there with her wide brim white hat and sunglasses, looking straight ahead. She wasn’t joining in the conversation with the other ladies, but she was outside, breathing fresh air, and had gotten there herself – both physically and emotionally. I took in the vision and decided to leave her to her new experience. I left without her knowing I had been there.

The next day, when I felt calm enough to see her, we talked about what had happened. I reiterated that I didn’t refuse to prepare her food out of anger, but because I had reached a limit with her. Meanwhile, the boundary I had set and tortured myself over during the past few days, had affected a change in my mom: she decided to try, to put forth effort, to be more positive. She had been going out to the garden by herself everyday. She did this on her own, which is the only way any change happens, but I know that me saying “No,” when I needed to, had had a positive effect. As scary as it has been for me to go against the flow of whoever I’m in relationship with,  I saw positive effects from my being true to myself. Being true meant trusting, speaking up for and counting myself. Seeing how the boundary setting with my mom had turned out to be a good thing, gave me permission and confidence to let the guilt go.

Since then, Mom has been much more positive. Her walking and ability to get up and sit down have improved exponentially. Her thoughts are still confused, but her mental energy is more lively.

Today I taught her an exercise I do, which can be applied literally to any thought and the feeling it produces. I ask, “how do I want to feel when I think about ____?” Then I go inside the body and feel the response. I love the speed and simplicity of this tool, through which I overlay new feelings on top of the topics I’ve been applying fear and negativity to. We practiced many times and I surprised and delighted my mom with how many things she could apply it to. “How do I want to feel when I think about going to dinner? When I think about talking to my cousin Burt who’s dying of kidney failure? When I think about incontinence? When I think about being helped? When I walk into the dining room?” I suggested. She wasn’t able to feel her emotions in her body, but came up with words instead. “I don’t think I have the powers to do it like you,” she said. “How do you want to feel when you think about not having the powers to do the exercise the way I do?” I replied.  Her eyebrows lifted as she took that in.

Within minutes, though, she started to go down the hole of negativity again and I stood up and said, “Ready to go out? Let’s go!” She looked up at me and I looked her in the eyes and said, “I am not going down that hole with you again.”

“I don’t know what hole you’re talking about.”

“The hole you spiral down when you get negative. I’m not going there with you.”

“No one said you have to.”

“Well, if I’m here with you and you’re in that place, it’s hard not to. Shall we go to the dining room?”

“Were you leaving anyway?” she asked, thinking I was angry with her and leaving.
“I wasn’t planning on it. I hadn’t thought about when I’ll leave. Come on, I’ll take you to the dining room!”

“Will you sit with me?”
“I’d be glad to.”

I got us up and out and she had a big dinner in the dining room.

Feeling victorious, grateful and relieved to have set my second boundary with my mom, I reflect, “What accounts for this miracle?” Perhaps, at least in part, through my daily morning spiritual routine which includes a Projector morning meditation (learned from Sandy Freschi,) my true self is growing in strength and presence: as I go through the deconditioning process, (and calling it so,) I am learning new and functional ways to deal with emotions and others through awareness and acceptance of my open centers, and emerging experience of self and not-self.

Robin

Robin Rainbow Gate

www.robinrainbowgate.com
www.lifeworksvideo.com

www.facebook.com/RobinsAuthenticIndianCuisine

LifeWorks Photos: www.zazzle.com/Rainbowgate*

Extreme Projector Exhaustion

Human Design Projector, Wanda Henke, Shares Her Story of Exhaustion and Recovery:

Hi everyone! I thought I would share my experience with extreme projector exhaustion. I’m sharing now because I want to encourage those of you who are also feeling this – it can get better if you allow yourself enough time to recuperate.

exhaustion revisedEven though I learned about Human Design about 5 years ago, I really did not understand the exhaustion piece for projectors until recently. I’m in my mid 60s, so I have been living like a Generator trying to be a Manifestor for a long time. I was extreme in my desire to outwork everyone else. Of course, I was just trying to get that recognition that we projectors need and want so badly. I retired from my latest career as a high school math teacher last July. I had not planned to retire at this time – I really could not afford to retire – but the situation at my school became untenable. I was teaching full-time at a public high school and part-time at my state’s online public high school. Once I retired, I could not work for the state at all for 6 months. I was really scared about the money piece, but by the time I actually stopped working, I was so exhausted I could hardly breathe. I had been exhausted for years, but I had kept pushing because I felt I had to.

I won’t go into details about my finances because I don’t want to remind myself of that negative energy, but basically it was a total collapse. The good news is that after 6 months of almost total rest, I finally feel like I will be able to “live” again. I have spent a lot of time – sometimes many days in a row – doing nothing but watching movies or old TV shows. Reading a book took too much energy. I fought this need to do absolutely nothing at first. I told myself a week was enough, then a month was enough. Finally after I got into this course (The Projector’s Survival Study Program) and listened to the recordings I gave in and decided not to worry about whether or not I looked “weak” to my relatives and not to worry about whether or not I would have enough money to meet the few obligations I had left. I allowed myself to do nothing – for days on end. I just listened to my spleen and did only those things I felt like doing.

Gradually, I began to do some reading and studying instead of TV. I had one thing that I did each week that took all day and was exhausting, but it was not something I could give up. At first, I would sit for 3 or 4 days and do nothing after this trip. The recovery time became less and less as the weeks went by. About 2 weeks ago, I decided to do some errands the day after my trip. I was very pleasantly (surprised) to find that I was not exhausted. I started to get some real inspiration and about 2 weeks ago, I had a vision of the perfect next venture for me. I had this idea when I originally decided to retire, but at that time it seemed like it would be too slow to make money and too much work to accomplish. Now it seems like it will just flow and I don’t feel any struggle. I know the money will come as it needs to. That part is already starting. When I contacted the online school to let them know that my 6-month exile was over, they were excited to have me back and asked me to teach 2 sections this semester. This is the perfect amount of work for a projector and will allow me to move up from survival while I start to put the pieces of my new venture in place. I’m doing my new venture as a projector – I will just do what I love to do and let those who want to partake of my wisdom come to me. Life is good and getting better!  🙂

If you are just starting to recover from Projector Exhaustion – it will get better if you just allow yourself time to recover!

Wanda HenkeWanda currently teaches high school math online with the North Carolina Virtual Public School. She retired last summer from teaching math face to face. Prior to teaching math, Wanda was an earthquake engineer. She and her husband developed a soil testing device used in earthquake engineering applications. Wanda found Human Design about 5 years ago, but did not really start trying to understand the implications of being a Projector until about 6 months ago. Wanda feels that Human Design is the key to successfully using all the wonderful self-improvement tools that we have today. Her first goal is to understand and love the unique person that she is.

Human Design Projector Holiday Experiment

20141221_203528 The holiday season with its increased social activities is a perfect time to experiment with Human Design.  If you have been learning about yourself as a Human Design Projector for a while, you know how important it is discover how you feel by yourself vs how you feel among others … especially if you have a lot of open energy centers.

My Generator husband and I have been enjoying a visit from my Manifesting Generator stepdaughter (who normally lives with her mother).  At the same time my Manifesting Generator stepson with three motors to his throat and a bad case of Senior Year of High School Angst, is visiting his mother for the holidays. This is not our usual way to spend the holidays.  We usually have both of the kids or not.  But this different arrangement has resulted in great observations about my Projector energy and my relationships with the sacral beings in my life.

Here 2 things I have discovered:

  • The stress and discord in my house the past few months was not mine.  Hallelujah!  It was the result of the conditioning that my husband (who is a Generator with 6 open centers) and I (a Projector with 5 open centers) were receiving from his very defined son.  I’m not placing blame, just observing.  As soon as he left we both relaxed.
  • Sacral energy can be delicious when you’re in the right conditioning field.  My husband and I both share some delightful electromagnetic connections with my stepdaughter.  Her presence activates us in ways that uplift us (especially me) and allow me to ride along under the influence of the sustainable energy to have fun.

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    Early Christmas on the Winter Solstice

Projectors are designed to be conditioned by others.  It’s how we know the other so that we can guide them when invited.  I believe we’re also here to enjoy our lives and perhaps even balance the planetary vibrations with that joy we embody (just a personal theory).  It’s all about the right people.. the right sacral energy … the best feeling connections which make the difference between a Projector who struggles and a Projector who thrives.

You may have already observed the differences in your energy field when you are around your Generator loved ones.  If not, this time of year will give you ample opportunity!

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The Manifesting Generator unwrapping gifts while trying not to draw attention to herself.

Perhaps the most important thing to remember about your observations is the necessity to spend time alone.  This allows you to feel your personal energy independent of others.  And when you step into the influence of another’s auric field, the difference will be unmistakable.

Enjoy your experiments and your holiday season!

Here is a special gift from my coaching website:

Free Webinar:  End Holiday Stress Before it Starts

Living Your Design Awakening Program for Projectors & Manifestors Starting December 13th

What do Human Design Projectors and Manifestors have in common?  Both energy types have no definition in the sacral center.  This makes both the Projector and Manifestor type prone to exhaustion when trying to sustain the energy to work.  Are you ready to start living your design and stop being exhausted?

Following your strategy and listening to your decision making authority will help you to live correctly in ways that honor your energy, and the “Living Your Design Awakening Program for Projectors & Manifestors” will help you refine your Human Design experiment.

Andrea Abay-Abay, a 3/5 Projector and Alokanand Diaz del Rio, a 1/3 Manifestor, are teaching the Living Your Design Awakening Program for Projectors & Manifestors, to help you get a handle on the essential principles that you need to grasp in order to successfully experiment with your Human Design Strategy and Authority.  Strategy and decision­ making will be covered in depth in this course in addition to other essential information that Projectors and Manifestors must know.

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This 8 session webinar series will cover:
● Human Design & How it Works
● The 9 Centers and How they Function
● The Aura Types and Strategies
● The different kinds of Authority
● How to Live Your Design

 

 

This series runs from 12/13­/14 to 1/4/15 at 18 GMT (Saturdays & Sundays).  The live 90 minute calls will be recorded. Learn about how to work with your Human Design in the way that Ra Uru Hu taught it!

Tuition: $350 (a 2-part payment plan is available)

Pre-requisite: A foundational reading from a Human Design Analyst

More Details Here

 

Living Your Design With Andrea Abay-Abay

In December, Andrea Abay-Abay , a 3/5 Emotional Projector who is affiliated with the International Human Design School (IHDS), will be teaching an online version of the “Living Your Design” course.  Living Your Design (LYD) is an introductory course which empowers you to live according to your true nature.

If you are ready to discover the awarenesses which awaken you to your Projector nature, this course will assist you in the transformational process of becoming truly you.  In addition, you will get the opportunity to look at the charts of those closest to you.  By seeing yourself and others with different eyes you can come into your relationships with a new and transformative perspective.

The Living Your Design (LYD) courses are certified by the IHDS, International Human Design School.  This the first course in their curriculum of learning Human Design.

More information about this course can be found at www.humandesignlife.com

Wait for an Invitation – Zeno Speaks about Human Design Projectors

Questions always come up in our Projector Teleconferences about the strategy of waiting for invitations.  The black and white guideline that Projectors must wait for an invitation before  taking action can often create more confusion than clarity.  The bottom line is that when you are able to observe yourself in relation to others, the clarity about how and when to wait… and why you are waiting becomes clear.

The explanation provided in this video by Zeno about waiting provides some information for you to find your own clarity.  Zeno of Zen Human Design is a mental Projector with a defined throat.  She was one of the original U.S. students of Ra Uru Hu, and as the result of observing how the instruction of Human Design changed from the original she developed her own clarity about understanding the Human Design Chart.

The Drudgery of Work – How to Be Wise About It

As a Human Design Projector you are not here to work like most other people.  Projectors have an undefined sacral center so the energy for work comes and goes.  And because of this, even the simplest activities can turn into drudge work under certain circumstances.  By drudge I mean those activities which bore the crap out of you so much so that you wish they would just do themselves.  They are the ones that you dread because they suck the life out of you.

stressfulA lovely Projector asked about how she can deal with drudge work .  If you find that there are times when you just don’t want to do “it” … whatever it is … you get what she means by drudgery.

If you’re doing hard, physical labor you need to know that most Human Design Projectors are not equipped to do this on a continuous basis.  That open sacral center may fool you into believing you can when you’re around a bunch of Generators, but do this too often and you may find yourself flat out exhausted.  Even the most tenacious Projector will eventually succumb to exhaustion from amplifying all of that Generator sacral energy in their undefined sacral center.  That said, the flipside advantage of the Projector’s undefined sacral is the eventual ability to become wise about how, when and what to do about work.

So here’s what I invite you to do the next time you’re faced with a mind numbing or body draining task.  Start to play with how you can become wise about dealing with the drudgery.

#1 – Can you get out of it?  Well if you have a hamper full of dirty clothes and no one to wash them for you, you probably have to do it.  That’s just a tiny example.  If you’re in a job that’s draining the life out of you it’s a whole different story.  It’s entirely possible that no amount of wise management will keep you afloat and you might have to jump ship. (this is where strategy and authority come in)

Ok if you can’t get out of the mundane, here are some things to consider when you’re experimenting with wisdom about work:

  • Drudge work is “drudgyer” if you haven’t taken care of yourself.  If you’re tired because your self-care is suffering everything is harder.  You run out of energy quicker.  You have less tolerance for even the smallest of tasks that you don’t want to do.
  • You don’t have to do everything yourself.  Even the busiest Generators delegate stuff that they don’t want or can’t do … just to save them time.  Delegating saves a Projector precious vital force energy!
  • Procrastination can become a fine art when you are following your own timing.   You may discover that some things don’t need to be done at all, or something shows up to make it easier. Of course if procrastination is creating more stress it may not be wise to use it.
  • One Projector’s work is another Projector’s joy.  Drudge work can sometimes be a matter of perspective.  When joy is your guide the unavoidable work gets done easily. Perhaps every Projector resonates deep down inside with the bit of wisdom that says “If it ain’t fun don’t do it”.  But what if you can’t get out of it and you aren’t in a position to delegate it?  Is it possible to make it fun with a joyful incentive?  Here’s an example…
My kitchen floor needs to be washed.  Whenever I can, I hire someone to come and do it.  Lately I haven’t deemed it possible, so I put it off.  So today I got a little “joyful incentive”… my husband informed me that he’s sending me 4 lobsters for my birthday which will be here on Friday.  I immediately got excited about having friends over for dinner and voila!… the energy for washing the floor showed up!
Of course I’ve been laying low and conserving energy for the past few days and have planned a
day off after my “clean the kitchen floor and host a dinner party extravaganza”. That’s how I’m
becoming more wise about work …
How about you?  How are you becoming wise about work?

5 Reasons It’s Great to Be a Human Design Projector

It’s not always easy to move through the world in a way that is different from most.  When you are a Human Design Projector it can be even more challenging, because you don’t have the consistent energy to show up in a world that (over)values work and keep up with the way that everyone else (the majority 70% with a defined sacral center) does it.  If you are a Projector who finds it challenging to stay positive about yourself in the midst of the Generator world here are 5 reasons that it’s great to be a Human Design Projector:  

  1. You have ongoing permission to take a nap in the middle of the day.
  2. You can become really wise about how to make the most of the energy you possess and how others can do the same.
  3. When you are being who you really are, people feel your presence when you walk into the room… whether they acknowledge it or not. … That is real power!
  4. You are an expert at something.  It’s your nature.  You can’t help it.  And right at this moment your people are looking for you to share your expertise with them. … How cool is that?
  5. You are here to be adored and recognized.  You feel it in your bones, so don’t deny it!

Please take some time today to recognize and adore yourself!  You play such an important role on the planet.  No other group of people possess the wisdom to shift the broken paradigms of work and productivity in the world the way that Projectors can.  And the beautiful part is that it’s not what you do but how you “be” in your intrinsic power that creates the shift … first for yourself and then for your people who invite you to “be” you with them.  Your authentic presence is enough.  So remember to love yourself deeply and live unapologetically in your joy!

My husband has been slowly clearing out his Thomas Kinkade desk calendar, and when he finds a quote that he thinks I will love he leaves it on my desk to let me know he loves and supports me.  Here is one for your desk so that you know I love and support you …

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Resources from the September Projector Teleconference

Sweet Gum LeafThe September Projector Teleconference was filled with lots of valuable questions and experiences from the Projectors who participated live.  One question in particular about transits and how they benefit Projectors requires a little follow up.

In the recording we briefly talked about what the planetary transits are in general and how to use them to gain wisdom about the energies which are affecting your day to day life.  I also mentioned several resources in the recording and I want to lay them out here for any of you who want to start working with the transits in your daily life.

Transit Charts:  You can get a “just now” chart which shows you the gates which are activated for the current timeframe.  The easiest way to get a just now charts is to go to http://jovianarchive.com/Just_Now.  If you would like to get a free program for your computer so you don’t have to be online to check the transits, the free version of the New Sunware program for Human Design Charts can be downloaded here: http://newsunware.com/eng/Neutrinos/FreeVersion.htm

There is a brief overview in the September recording about how to use these transit charts.  But if this is a bit complicated for you or more than you want to keep up with, a couple of Human Design teachers put out excellent weekly overviews.

My teacher, Karen Curry, usually puts out in her weekly emails an overview of the transits for that week.  To get on her list for email updates go to www.understandinghumandesign.com

Another great resource for weekly transits come from Scott Davis who posts video on his You Tube channel, New World Birth.  They are extremely detailed, and if you want to get a better understanding of the influences and themes of the gates as they move through our collective and personal experiences you will get an education by following him.

If you are new to Human Design, and it is enough for you to immerse yourself in your strategy to wait for an invitation don’t get distracted by all of the other complex information which is available through understanding the transits.  It will come in your own time.  Those who have been immersed in their own experiments for a while often feel compelled to study various aspects of Human Design more deeply.  If this is you enjoy your journey through the transits as you ride the currents of energies which benefit us all.

A Projector’s Lesson About Prosperity

Wait… Watch … Enjoy the energy … Not everyone is here for you … Stay open … You’ll see…

This is the inner guidance I got when I participated as a provider at a community psychic faire.  I was invited to become part of a local metaphysical community a while back to offer my Human Design and Life Coaching services.  And while I know that my presence holds a valuable space within the community, the money for my work has yet to be steady.  So for now I am planting the seeds of Human Design and practicing my Projector strategy of waiting.

At events like this psychic faire I tend to feel rudderless.  Unless one of the Manifestors in the group introduces me or promotes me I don’t seem to get seen or recognized all that much. I’ve come to accept it because my observations have shown me that I’m only there for certain people… and when we find each other it’s like magic.  There is a recognition, a knowing and that person sticks with me, follows me and grows with me over time. And eventually this causes my business to reach a critical mass where word of mouth kicks in and the income becomes automatic.  It’s a slow trajectory which builds a solid and sustainable foundation.  Now that I know about my strategy I don’t stress too much about the process.

So at this particular psychic faire I was aware of my rudderlessness and intentionally set out to feel good and enjoy myself while waiting.  I didn’t make much money.  In fact I only saw 3 people the first day and none the second day.  To say that my income was spotty is an understatement.  In the past I would have tried to push my way into people’s lives to prove to them that they “need” Human Design.  But that’s not what it’s all about for me these days.  So  since I was really enjoying connecting with the other providers and basking in the energy I relaxed and consciously practiced waiting and watching. What transpired showed me how much I am supported in ways that are so much deeper and meaningful than just money.

The atmosphere was light and joyful.  I started out hopeful that my days would be filled with clients.  I was open and ready to change the world by turning people on to their Human Design strategy… showing them who they really are etc etc etc blah blah blah…..

As I mentioned, I got three clients the whole weekend!  Now in earlier days I would have felt like a failure and the whole weekend would have been seen as a disaster.  I might have even gotten indignant and declared that these things are a waste of time… or I would have strong-armed my way into trying to make more money.  In the end I most likely would have gone home bitter and discouraged… and this would have flung me into days or even months of self-doubt and insecurity.  But this time it was different.  I just stayed open to being my Projector self.

The experience became part of my experiment.  And what I was shown was how prosperity really comes to me when I align with myself and let “what is” be.

necklaceOn the second day one of the other providers came to me with a gift.  She had no explanation for why she was giving me her precious ruby and black pearl pendant … except that the hairs were standing up on her arms and she knew I must have it.  I was touched in the moment .. moved to tears by her generosity.

As I sat in the reading room the rest of the day, watching clients come in and out to see all the other practitioners but me, I wore that pendant with a smile on my face and in my heart.  I sat there waiting and listening to my guidance to stay open and be present.  In my rudderlessness I floated through conversations with some of the other providers and some of the customers and potential clients.   There was a knowing and acceptance that my people were not in that room that day.   

As much as I was ok with it I was still curious as to why the weekend unfolded the way it did.  At the end of the day I went out front to say goodbye and there in the room were some of my clients!  They all greeting me with love.  The magic between us was palpable.  And I was told by each of them how much they appreciate me and how they were planning to get a full session with me rather than the short ones which were offered at the psychic faire.  I also discovered that others were interested in getting longer sessions with me during the week as well. So that was confirmation that the money is coming… in bigger ways than I expected.  That was really cool… but there’s more …

I still wondered about that gift … that beautiful pendant which was given to me by a dear soul who was following her guidance without even knowing why she needed to give it to me or why I needed to receive it.  Later that evening it hit me.  That pendant was indeed a direct gift from the universe… the unseen forces who embrace and support me with their unconditional love. The message went straight to my heart.  … and I was so crystal clear that I teared up all over again at how profoundly rich I truly am.  If I had made just the money, I would have allocated some for my business, some for my household and a little tiny bit would have been mine to spend on me.  This gift was 100% totally mine, and it was given to me in a way that I couldn’t split up, share or divvy up to anyone else.  At that moment I realized my preciousness.  I understood how well supported I am.  And I was reminded that just because “I am”, I am graced and adorned with all that I truly need to be me… That is enough.  I am enough. And I prosper in all kinds of ways.