In the past few weeks I have come face to face with my own Human Design Projector conditioning in a very real and obvious way. Take a look around this lovely website. In the past I would have put this together myself, but since it is ultimately planned as a membership website where you can sign up and get access to exclusive content, I decided to outsource. Then something went terribly wrong. I have a lovely site here for you, but if you tried to sign in after you register, you wouldn’t be able to get to any of the private content that’s waiting here for you. I got scared and that’s what triggered my addiction to DIY that I got from my sacral conditioning.
I was doing so well with this old longstanding compulsion to do things on my own. After I went through what I call “wordpress hell” earlier this year, I decided it was time to leave the complicated stuff to the experts. So this time I thought I was handling this project more wisely when I turned it over to someone else. But when the results didn’t work out like I had planned (partially because I wasn’t clear) I immediately jumped in and tried to fix it myself. This is what I’m calling the “DIY addiction”. It’s that need to push and push with energy that you don’t have, to make something happen on your own. It comes from what is known in Human Design as sacral conditioning. We Projectors have trouble knowing when enough is enough, when to surrender and let someone else do the work, because we don’t have consistent access to the sacral energy that guides the direction of work. In addition, the ones who love and raised us often have sacral motors. They would have the energy to push and work at something and do it themselves, and they also conditioned us to think we could do the same thing. They probably also know better than a non-sacral being when it’s time to stop and let someone else do it. I was conditioned into my DIY addiction by my very resourceful Depression era Grandmother. She had the gift of being able to turn a sow’s ear into a silk purse, and she was also probably a Manifesting Generator. I’m a Projector with a 3/5 profile. So I can experiment around and try a whole bunch of stuff, and usually I can get whatever I’m trying to fix to work…. but at what cost? And that’s what I realized when I finally accepted and acknowledged my addiction to doing it myself. In an attempt to try and save money and time, it really did cost me a lot of potential income and stress to try and fix it myself. In the time that I was working on this site (which didn’t help at all) I could have been talking to you. I could have been launching a new program. I could have been resting and allowing my creative juices to flow into my plans of how I’m going to serve you next.
Well I’m finally back. It took some time to recover. The stress alone sapped a good chunk of life-force out of me. I have some new found wisdom about sacral conditioning and how it shows up as the compulsion to fix things on my own. But the registration process for this site still isn’t fixed. So that leads me to the number one lesson that all Projectors must learn in order to be successful…. ta da…. PATIENCE!!!!!!!! We have to be patient when waiting for invitations and we have to be patient when relying on others to help us. This is where I get to learn the second and third most important lessons for Projectors…. Clarity & Trust! This whole experience has given me more clarity about what I want to see happen for you here, and now I must trust that it will get done in the way I have communicated.
How does your sacral conditioning show up? Do you have the compulsion to do it yourself? Tell me about it here…..
If you’re wondering if you can sign up for any of the membership programs which are offered the answer is a definite YES! We’re still using the old systems, so when you sign up and pay for one of the programs, I will be there to make sure you get access to all your membership features. . You can’t yet get into this specific site but you can still get what you need to grow and be supported!