Another great post from by Ethan Emerson www.facebook.com/poeticrhythms
Originally Written April 7, 2012
The more I still my mind and create spaces for myself where I am thoughtless, the more in touch with my body I become. In combination with using my inner authority to make decisions (Solar Plex) I have been experiencing something very interesting… (I have no conscious access to my emotions, btw).
What I’ve found is that when I am presented with a situation to make a decision on, when my mind is still (meaning I am not mentally processing the decision) I either get hit with an immediate physical feeling that to me is NO or an immediate physical feeling that to me is a YES. Or, I get nothing at all. And I’ve found that getting nothing is what happens when I consciously try to access how I feel. You know, consciously forcing myself to think about the decision maybe by looking at a list of “decisions I need to make” or what have you. The only times I get a YES or a NO are when the subject pops into my mind at random times – unplanned, it just happens. In the shower, while I’m eating dinner, in the middle of a movie. Randomly.
The “YES” feeling feels like an enhanced, fast-paced, intense surge of my own aura for a brief moment flowing in it’s natural state almost like it’s a fast, intense “pulse” of my natural auric energy.
The “NO” feeling feels like a momentary block in the flow of my aura. Like for that moment, everything shrinks into the middle in resistance and it pulses the same physical sensation through my body from head to toe that I feel when I am in a situation where I feel fear.
What happens is that I take, say, a week or two to make a decision. Each day I randomly check-in with myself on the decision to be made. And each time I check in, I get one of the two feelings described above. When I randomly think of the decisions to be made (they just end up in my thoughts) I get hit with the feeling more intensely than if I were to just purposely try to put the decision in my awareness to feel the feeling. Perhaps that’s due to not having conscious access to my emotions. I’m not sure.
But over the last month I’ve been allowing myself to think about my decisions more and more from a place of non-judgment where the thought just enters my mind at random times and I get the intense feeling. But now I’m able to really distinguish what that feeling is – and I’m blown away by the feeling of my own aura flowing at a momentarily increased intensity literally like a PULSE of energy – and I’m just starting to discover this process in a new way.
Previously I would just “test the air” so to speak about how I felt about decisions. But that never worked. I didn’t know how I felt. And it wasn’t until I realized I don’t have conscious access to my emotions did I realize why I wasn’t able to access my inner authority by just choosing to think about my decision.
I’ve found that sitting out in the sun with no purpose helps me in decision making. I just sit outside, soak up the sun, meditate on nothing and it hits me – literally. Maybe this is key for me to allow my decisions to process unconsciously?
And so the journey continues… one day at a time…!