Category Archives: self-Care

Planning, Preparation and Surrender – A Human Design Projector Conundrum

Last month I did a video about my favorite planners, and I got some comments from Projectors who are questioning the value of planning as they engage with their Human Design experiment. This is a question worth exploring. So let’s examine the concept of planning in the context of surrendering to your design.

It would appear that the act of planning directly conflicts with the need to surrender to your Human Design.  After all, according to the revelation of Ra Uru Hu, the thinking aspects of us ride along in the vehicle of our physical form, and they are not here to tell the form what to do. As Human Design Projectors, it’s particularly dangerous to allow the mind to call the shots. When we do that, we often end up burning ourselves out in ways that throw us off our trajectory of attraction and invitation.  As non-sacral beings, it can be especially hard to recover from physical burnout once it happens.  Believe it or not, planning could actually help you prevent burnout.  But it has to be done in a conscious and detached way.

There is a saying which vividly illustrates the relationship between planning and surrender…

“Man plans. God laughs”

man plans god laughsNowhere is it more true than when you surrender to your design.  Often you “think” you’re going in one direction, and when you order your life around it things change.  When you are really aligned with your truth and living authentically, these changes stop being catastrophic and instead become catalyzing.  They may not look like the endpoint that you expected, but they are always harmonious with and supportive of your deepest soul urges.

So what’s the point of planning if you’re riding the wave of change and surrender?

Before exploring this question, let’s first clarify a couple of things about planning.

  1. What I’m about to say may mean more to you if you have a lot of logic in your design or if you are wired to interact with the world in a more linear way.  So take what resonates and leave the rest. Let it inspire you, and use it to help you become a better observer of your personal experience.
  2. When we talk about planning, we are not necessarily talking about the linear concept of setting immovable goals and devising a single “minded” plan to get there.  We are talking about creating space for the growth of an inner relationship with yourself which helps you expand into a more meaningful experience of your life.  In this context, your plan employs a goal as a signpost, without attachment to the actual literal attainment of it.

What’s the point of planning?

We operate in a world where manifestation usually comes through some sort of action. If you have been living your Projector experiment for a while, you know that much of the action that you take is internally focused.  You know that the more you engage in the things that you enjoy, the more vibrant and attractive you become to others.  The more you work on your self-care, the easier it is to stay out of bitterness, and to discern the feel of your own authority.

But a lot of this inner activity is often judged by the outer “homogenized” world as pointless and ineffective.  And if you’re not careful to stay aligned with what’s correct for you, you will slip back into the illusion that you must do a whole bunch of stuff “out there” to make something manifest.  Yes there are outward things that Projectors can and must do, when the correct invitation is there with the support that is needed to do what you have prepared for (by doing your inner work).  But none of that happens until it’s all lined up inside of you.

So the point of planning is to prepare for the outer doing when it is time to do it.  When you sit down to plan, do it with emphasis on your inner goals for aligning to your true nature.

Here are some things you can consider which may be helpful for your Projector planning process…

How do I create space to hear my inner guidance more clearly?

What self-care habits can I develop which will increase my vitality?

What is meaningful to me, and how can I open up to experience more of that in my life?

What systems am I called to master to manage, guide and direct others?

What is the process for mastering that system?

What do I need to do to be my own best friend?

While you are waiting, plan to strengthen your relationship with yourself.  Plan for space to hear yourself, feel yourself and observe yourself. Plan for sustainability in ways that are correct for you.  And most of all, plan for the inevitability of change… not to control the outcome, but to ride the crest of the wave through surrender.

Here is the post on my coaching site where I shared the video on planners. if you are interested in watching it: 

http://coachingwithsandy.com/2016-planners-to-organize-your-life/

 

Extreme Projector Exhaustion

Human Design Projector, Wanda Henke, Shares Her Story of Exhaustion and Recovery:

Hi everyone! I thought I would share my experience with extreme projector exhaustion. I’m sharing now because I want to encourage those of you who are also feeling this – it can get better if you allow yourself enough time to recuperate.

exhaustion revisedEven though I learned about Human Design about 5 years ago, I really did not understand the exhaustion piece for projectors until recently. I’m in my mid 60s, so I have been living like a Generator trying to be a Manifestor for a long time. I was extreme in my desire to outwork everyone else. Of course, I was just trying to get that recognition that we projectors need and want so badly. I retired from my latest career as a high school math teacher last July. I had not planned to retire at this time – I really could not afford to retire – but the situation at my school became untenable. I was teaching full-time at a public high school and part-time at my state’s online public high school. Once I retired, I could not work for the state at all for 6 months. I was really scared about the money piece, but by the time I actually stopped working, I was so exhausted I could hardly breathe. I had been exhausted for years, but I had kept pushing because I felt I had to.

I won’t go into details about my finances because I don’t want to remind myself of that negative energy, but basically it was a total collapse. The good news is that after 6 months of almost total rest, I finally feel like I will be able to “live” again. I have spent a lot of time – sometimes many days in a row – doing nothing but watching movies or old TV shows. Reading a book took too much energy. I fought this need to do absolutely nothing at first. I told myself a week was enough, then a month was enough. Finally after I got into this course (The Projector’s Survival Study Program) and listened to the recordings I gave in and decided not to worry about whether or not I looked “weak” to my relatives and not to worry about whether or not I would have enough money to meet the few obligations I had left. I allowed myself to do nothing – for days on end. I just listened to my spleen and did only those things I felt like doing.

Gradually, I began to do some reading and studying instead of TV. I had one thing that I did each week that took all day and was exhausting, but it was not something I could give up. At first, I would sit for 3 or 4 days and do nothing after this trip. The recovery time became less and less as the weeks went by. About 2 weeks ago, I decided to do some errands the day after my trip. I was very pleasantly (surprised) to find that I was not exhausted. I started to get some real inspiration and about 2 weeks ago, I had a vision of the perfect next venture for me. I had this idea when I originally decided to retire, but at that time it seemed like it would be too slow to make money and too much work to accomplish. Now it seems like it will just flow and I don’t feel any struggle. I know the money will come as it needs to. That part is already starting. When I contacted the online school to let them know that my 6-month exile was over, they were excited to have me back and asked me to teach 2 sections this semester. This is the perfect amount of work for a projector and will allow me to move up from survival while I start to put the pieces of my new venture in place. I’m doing my new venture as a projector – I will just do what I love to do and let those who want to partake of my wisdom come to me. Life is good and getting better!  🙂

If you are just starting to recover from Projector Exhaustion – it will get better if you just allow yourself time to recover!

Wanda HenkeWanda currently teaches high school math online with the North Carolina Virtual Public School. She retired last summer from teaching math face to face. Prior to teaching math, Wanda was an earthquake engineer. She and her husband developed a soil testing device used in earthquake engineering applications. Wanda found Human Design about 5 years ago, but did not really start trying to understand the implications of being a Projector until about 6 months ago. Wanda feels that Human Design is the key to successfully using all the wonderful self-improvement tools that we have today. Her first goal is to understand and love the unique person that she is.

Why Play Is Important for Human Design Projectors

sleep-330869_640For the past few weeks on my  Coaching With Sandy blog and on my Facebook page, the talk has been about play.  This is such an important topic for Human Design Projectors.  Did you know that play is like the lifeblood in our veins?  If it were the air we breathed we would all be functioning at our best and living those “royal” lives that we’re here to live.  Let’s get honest.  For all the conditioning that our open sacrals have sustained throughout the years… not to mention the other open centers which cause us to work hard to please others, prove our worth, make our point, or any other number of things … if it were just us Projectors in a room together we would probably all admit that deep down inside we’ve known all along that we were not put on this earth to work hard.  And if we were together long enough we would eventually abolish work as it’s known today and discover a way to make play a primary means of financial support.  Ok stand up and cheer now if you’re ready to play for a living!

I don’t mean to preach to the choir here, because I know that so many of you are already comfortable with the concept of play.  Some of you are even playing for a living.  Woo Hoo!  Big Cheers!  But for the rest of you who may still be struggling with making the shift into the almost insufferable strategy to wait (usually for long periods of time) for a big life-changing invitation, playing more and working less could actually be your saving grace.  Play rejuvenates the spirit, gives the mind a rest and opens up opportunities for deeper social connections.  It’s so essential to the well being of everyone, but for Projectors it holds a special role.  Play makes the waiting way more enjoyable and facilitates your own self discovery.  In other words, when you play you discover more about what you love.  You will be naturally inspired to go deeply into those loves and passions … ’cause that’s just how we roll… And when you go deeply into what you love you’re getting yourself ready for fabulous invitations and recognition.   Play also puts you in tune with the synchronicities which arise from your inner rhythm.  And it’s the synchronicities which put you in the right place at the right time to meet your people who are looking for you… your people who recognize you, adore you, and support you in countless ways.  So playing isn’t just something that a Projector does to kill time while waiting for an invitation.  It’s what gets you in touch with your true nature.

Woman Walking on Treadmill --- Image by © Royalty-Free/Corbis

It can be a challenge, when you’ve been on the Generator treadmill for a while, to make the shift into making play a priority.  Invite yourself to try it everyday… a little at a time… Consciously make room for it.  Give yourself permission.  When you give yourself permission to play you give yourself permission to be you!

Enjoy these Other Articles About Play

“Is Recess for Adults Taboo?”

“Interview with Dr. Stuart Brown, Founder of the National Institute for Play”

“Play Your Way to Success in Work and Relationships”

Recognize When You’re On the Way to Burnout

For the past few weeks I’ve been hard at work… oh that dirty word for Projectors… “Work”… Yes I do that to maintain and grow my business.  As you may know, the work experience for Projectors is often a very different thing from how the rest of the world experiences it.  Yet it often looks the same.  We Projectors usually need lots of space and downtime as we go about our money making opportunities.  And I thought I was doing that until I had an epiphany!  Last week I wrote this post about that over at the Coaching With Sandy blog, and I think it bears repeating here.  The path to burnout starts out faintly and this little realization may help you to recognize it way before it takes full hold.

Reprinted from www.coachingwithsandy.com

Don’t Ever Take Time Off Because This Will Happen

IT guy's vacationI was having a wonderful day off not long ago.  My usual intake of internet stimuli had been drastically reduced, and I had all intentions of floating through my day with hardly a thought about work.  Surely my business could survive for just 24 hours without me hovering over it, wallowing in it and doting on it.  Well one would think that would be easy right?  After all, my automatic tweets, social media updates and email responses were up to date.  Appointments had been scheduled and confirmed, and I was at a place in my latest creation where I could stop.  And actually I needed to stop and take a rest… do something else, like actually make a meal by using the stove and maybe even do a little gardening to get my hands in the dirt.

So I want to share what happened next with you because I bet it has happened to you.  I got all relaxed… took a leisurely walk, got a massage, and then took another leisurely walk… just because I could… and POW!  I got just relaxed enough that the creative ideas started pouring in.  All those pieces I needed for my next creative project were floating through the wall I had hit just the night before.  Ugh!  I was supposed to be resting and giving my mind and body a break.  Instead I was spending my precious energy trying to resist sitting at my desk and letting it all flow in.  Panic set in.  If I ended my time off early so I could work on this project some more, then I wouldn’t get the rest I knew I needed to actually complete it.  If I just let the ideas flow through me they might not come back in the brilliant way that they first appeared.  So I compromised and jotted down some notes to review the next day.  That satisfied me a bit.  But my mind, which had only just moments before been in a blissful state of relaxation, was in work mode again.  And there was no stopping it this time.  My body also responded to the high alert of this creative download and was ready to jump back in the desk chair, buckle up and ride this thing all the way home.  I did manage to restrain myself from going for it, but in the gyrations that it took to keep me out of the office I had a major epiphany about why this happens and what it means and why it’s a bad idea to succumb to the temptation to work when you need to be resting.

Well it’s probably not news to you that the creative juices get flowing when the body and mind are relaxed.  So I created that situation by allowing myself to relax… or so that’s what logic would say.  And yes it is true, it was the backing off and letting my guard down that actually allowed the ideas to come.  But here’s the epiphany part… The creative flow that I experienced was actually a teeny tiny signal that I was on a slow descent into burnout.  Yes burnout! … that dirty word that makes you exhausted just from thinking about it.  It was a signal that I had not been giving myself enough rest and space on a regular basis.  Sure I was giving myself a day off.  And actually I had been forcing myself to take a day off in the middle of the week to avoid burnout.  But the truth is that if I had been giving myself what I needed to be relaxed all the time, I wouldn’t have had to force myself to rest.  I would have been well rested and in a perpetual state of relaxation.

So what happened was kind of like slowly turning off the flow of water to your house.  I had very subtly shut down the flow of my creative life-force by pushing a tiny bit here and resisting a little rest there.  And when I turned on my faucet by taking a day off, what rushed out was a backlog of pent up creative energy.  You know how when the water gets turned off at your house you turn on the faucet and what had built up comes rushing out?  When you let it run for a while it runs dry.  That’s kind of like what happens in this very early warning state of burnout.  So if I had allowed the flow to continue in that moment it wouldn’t be long until it all ran out.  That’s what burnout is… a lack of flow because the source is depleted.  I was a ways from becoming totally depleted, but if I had not seen this cue and had that epiphany, eventually the core of me would have run dry.

Don’t let this happen to you.  Listen to your subtle cues.  Don’t succumb to your second winds.  Give yourself lots of breaks everyday, whenever you need them, with no hesitation or apologies.  When you do this the big days off won’t be riddled with the rush of backed up life-force which only gets to come out when you force yourself to rest.  Let it flow all the time and give it plenty of space to spread out.

Everyone is designed to work and rest in a different way.  

Discover your unique burnout prevention strategy. – Work With Sandy Freschi

 

Why Human Design Projectors Should Sleep Alone

Woman Turning Off AlarmDarn that open sacral! … And whatever other open energy centers the Human Design Projector has… If you’re a Projector who hasn’t had a good night’s sleep in ages, take a look at who you’re sleeping with.  If you share a bed with a Human Design Generator or Manifesting Generator your open sacral may not be getting the rest it needs to discharge all that energy you took in during the day.  A Generator’s sacral motor runs all the time, and even in your sleep you are prone to Generator conditioning.  What’s Generator conditioning?  It’s what happens when a Projector stands or sleeps next to a Human Design Generator.  The Projector takes in the energy of their defined sacral and amplifies it.  In the waking world, you will look like you have more energy than just about anyone else to get work done… at least for limited periods of time.  When you’re sleeping you’re obviously not working, so this excess work-force energy that you take in from your defined sacral friend, just continues to build up in your open sacral.  So when you awaken it can feel alike you never slept at all.  So what’s a Projector to do?  The best advice is to sleep alone.  What if you don’t want to sleep alone.  Well I’ve found some ways where it is possible to sleep with a Generator which I’m going to share in the next Projector Empowerment Call on September 5th 2013.

Your sleep strategy and all your self-care strategies can be fine tuned when you understand the role that your open energy centers play in your conditioning.  So sleep is just one self-care topic we’re going to discuss on September 5th.  We will explore the essentials of Human Design Projector self-care from the perspective of your open centers.  If you’re familiar with the standard list of do’s and don’ts for Projectors….

  • Sleep alone
  • Spend time alone in nature
  • Work less
  • Rest more
  • Exercise when you feel like it
  • Be mindful of your eating habits when around Generators

you won’t want to miss the discussion about how your open centers and the definition in others can affect your health and well being.

Register for the Projector Empowerment Program to Join us for:

Self-Care and Your Open Energy Centers

September 5th, 2013

Want to know more but can’t make the call?  Don’t worry all call recordings and reference materials are stored for you on your private membership page. Learn more about how the Projector Empowerment Program can support you to become the healthy, happy, fulfilled and empowered person you are meant to be.  Click Here