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Projector Teleconference – August 2014

All Human Design Projectors are Invited!

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August 20th – 7:00 p.m. Eastern

Details

Why I’m Shaking in My Boots

For the past few weeks I’ve been working one-on-one with a lot of Human Design Projectors and the nudge I’ve been getting for a while now has finally become strong enough that I’m ready to offer this invitation to the Human Design Projector community.    This is a total experiment which I hope will serve you in the ways you have expressed that you want and need to be served.  And to be quite honest, I’m kind of shaking in my boots about it … for two reasons.

  1.  This teleconference is going to be different from the other programs which are offered here.  Instead of focusing on how to survive as a Projector or doing the deeper work of introspection and personal growth, this meeting will be about connecting with others and just being.  It’s about relaxing into being you and getting in touch with your personal energy flow.  So not only will we talk a little about Human Design and Projector issues, but I will also work with you through guided meditation and distance energy work.  It requires me to come out of the closet and offer some my other skills to you. So I’m feeling kind of vulnerable… deep breath…
  2. The second reason I’m shaking in my boots is that the pricing structure is … well… optional.  I’ve never offered a program where you can either come for free or pay if you want.  But after talking to many of you my heart was moved to make this teleconference (and hopefully many others) financially accessible to everyone.  And after much introspection, contemplation and prayer about it I was nudged to offer the option for you to exchange energy, if you so choose, through a small monetary contribution.  My heart sings with the freedom I feel from doing it this way.  Yet my head still tries to control the process by periodically asking me if I’ve lost my mind by departing from the traditional way business is done.

Any who… You’re invited to join this teleconference to connect with others and yourself.  And if you like it and find it valuable we will continue to have them.  I hope you join me in this experiment.  It’s exciting to offer it to you.

More Details Here

Discovering what authority really feels like…

Another great post from by Ethan Emerson  www.facebook.com/poeticrhythms

Originally Written April 7, 2012

Pencil with "Y" Circled For YesThe more I still my mind and create spaces for myself where I am thoughtless, the more in touch with my body I become. In combination with using my inner authority to make decisions (Solar Plex) I have been experiencing something very interesting… (I have no conscious access to my emotions, btw).

What I’ve found is that when I am presented with a situation to make a decision on, when my mind is still (meaning I am not mentally processing the decision) I either get hit with an immediate physical feeling that to me is NO or an immediate physical feeling that to me is a YES. Or, I get nothing at all. And I’ve found that getting nothing is what happens when I consciously try to access how I feel. You know, consciously forcing myself to think about the decision maybe by looking at a list of “decisions I need to make” or what have you. The only times I get a YES or a NO are when the subject pops into my mind at random times – unplanned, it just happens. In the shower, while I’m eating dinner, in the middle of a movie. Randomly.

The “YES” feeling feels like an enhanced, fast-paced, intense surge of my own aura for a brief moment flowing in it’s natural state almost like it’s a fast, intense “pulse” of my natural auric energy.

The “NO” feeling feels like a momentary block in the flow of my aura. Like for that moment, everything shrinks into the middle in resistance and it pulses the same physical sensation through my body from head to toe that I feel when I am in a situation where I feel fear.

What happens is that I take, say, a week or two to make a decision. Each day I randomly check-in with myself on the decision to be made. And each time I check in, I get one of the two feelings described above. When I randomly think of the decisions to be made (they just end up in my thoughts) I get hit with the feeling more intensely than if I were to just purposely try to put the decision in my awareness to feel the feeling. Perhaps that’s due to not having conscious access to my emotions. I’m not sure.

But over the last month I’ve been allowing myself to think about my decisions more and more from a place of non-judgment where the thought just enters my mind at random times and I get the intense feeling. But now I’m able to really distinguish what that feeling is – and I’m blown away by the feeling of my own aura flowing at a momentarily increased intensity literally like a PULSE of energy – and I’m just starting to discover this process in a new way.

Previously I would just “test the air” so to speak about how I felt about decisions. But that never worked. I didn’t know how I felt. And it wasn’t until I realized I don’t have conscious access to my emotions did I realize why I wasn’t able to access my inner authority by just choosing to think about my decision.

I’ve found that sitting out in the sun with no purpose helps me in decision making. I just sit outside, soak up the sun, meditate on nothing and it hits me – literally. Maybe this is key for me to allow my decisions to process unconsciously?

And so the journey continues… one day at a time…!

Want to know more about your decision making authority?…..

Projector Survival Study Program

Riding The Wave

Guest Post

Originally Written: April 28, 2012 by Ethan Emerson  www.facebook.com/poeticrhythms

Surfer on a WaveAfter taking the last 2 months to isolate myself from as much conditioning as possible, living an eventless life purposely to allow myself to settle into my body and really feel what it’s like to be who I am… I’ve actually come to have some very surprising experiences. Conceptually I always got that nothing others do or say creates the way we feel – we are always the source of our emotions (yes, even if someone punches me in the face if I feel anger it’s not because of being punched in the face) however, there was a dilemma. Was I really choosing my emotional state? I don’t remember consciously choosing what I feel, ever. And now I’ve gotten to the bottom of it.

Emotions really are just chemistry! Literally. There is no cause for feeling sad, lonely, angry, disappointed, happy, elated, etc. it is literally just chemistry. It’s not enough to say that something happens and then we choose how to respond. We don’t choose how to respond. Not consciously, anyway. It just happens like a knee-jerk response. Why? Because we identify with our emotions.

I have a defined solar plex, and so I have my own emotional wave that gradually ratchets up – then gradually ratchets down and completely crashes, and this is just chemistry. No big deal, except to witness the big crash as the passenger – oh, that’s something else. That’s quite an experience. To witness the end of the crash without identifying with it – the doors that just opened for me are incredible.

I am not my body, I am not my emotions, and now I clearly see how this emotional wave just repeats on a cycle over and over – and when I’m climbing up or down on my wave if I am attached to identifying with the emotions that pass through my body, I think that circumstances and people around me are contributing to and/or causing my heightened feelings labeled desirable/undesirable but that’s not the truth at all.

IT’S JUST CHEMISTRY!

Saying that emotions are “just chemistry” is not the same as saying “I am responsible for how I feel, and I can feel happy in any circumstance, even if I’m in prison or being faced with torture.” No. Emotions being pure chemistry is different than taking “responsibility” for how I feel. Taking “responsibility” for my emotions is another not-self mindtrap – I am not responsible for the emotions that pass through my body at all. And the more I try to trick my mind into believing I am, the more I will be misled to believe that I somehow have control over the emotions that pass through my body. Clearly, I do not. It is just chemistry and it goes up and it crashes down and I am not in control.

What does that mean? Nothing, really, unless I choose to make it mean something. But at the end of the day all it really means is that the emotional wave always has and always will continue to rise and fall and I am just along for the ride. Where’s the freedom in that? Well, by not identifying with the emotional wave and getting that it is just chemistry, I can coexist with the emotional wave and just take a backseat to all of it. Just watch it. Observe it. Be the passenger. Not try to change or control it in any way. “Oh, look, there it goes…”

The sentiment that we are somehow “responsible” for our emotions implies choice in the way we feel. The truth is there is no choice – there is only chemistry. And in recognizing that all there is, is chemistry – that’s where the true power of freedom comes… to be the passenger… the power is not to choose happiness in the face of sadness. That’s just adding on more layers of bullshit to your original bullshit. You can’t control it. The power is in not identifying with the emotions in the first place, and, despite what you feel in your physical body, maintaining your flow of allowing it all to just be. Not labeling it wanted or unwanted. Just ride the wave – you can’t change it!

Want to learn more about your emotions and the emotional wave?  

Check out the Projector Survival Study Program!

Feeling Invisible And Unheard – A Deeper Look

listenWritten December 31, 2011 by Ethan Emerson  www.facebook.com/poeticrhythms

If there are two situations Projectors experience continually, and, find the most disheartening, it’s feeling invisible and unheard. If you’re reading this without any knowledge of what it means to be a Projector in Human Design, and especially if you understand that we all create our own reality, you might find yourself thinking that if a person feels invisible and unheard they likely have some STORY they have been telling themselves around that, and if they could just disappear that STORY then all would be well and they would stop attracting those situations into their lives.

Indeed, this is a possibility – however, it’s not always the truth. You see, I spent 2 years trying on the possibility that my story was creating my experience of being invisible and unheard, but it just never fit. I know that I create my own reality and when my Human Design coach told me that as a Projector, I would only find my success when I waited to be recognized before speaking – and that I would only piss people off by initiating anything (especially romantic relationships) I dismissed what he said completely. I thought to myself:

I create my own reality! I can learn how to initiate, I just don’t have the skillsets, but I can and will learn! I am going to be a success! I am not limited by this ‘Projector strategy’ at all. And I’ll prove it!

I thought maybe if I could just speak louder, stronger, with more conviction – or perhaps hold more authority in my voice… then people would listen to me. I thought that if I could get really great at distilling my points down to what I could express in 10 seconds, I’d keep people’s attention. I was told by others that I just wasn’t asserting myself, and I needed to start taking a stand for my life and stop putting up with being talked over. They told me I needed to be more aggressive. Being that way did not feel natural to me, but I really believed that I could learn communication skills to change the way people interacted with me.

So I spent TWO YEARS learning communication skills that allowed me to be precise, quick, and assertive while being a powerful speaker. I learned a bit of everything from NLP, Laban, and even immersed myself in Landmark Education and took on a business coach who had been trained as a Landmark Forum Leader – he was truly one of the best mentors and teachers I have ever had!

I applied what I had learned with my coaches and I did really well! When I applied what I had learned in the real world I still drove people away.

I knew something was wrong and my situation was more than just a lack of skills or effort. I’ve always been able to quickly pick up skills and become successful at everything I do. I learned to play 7 musical instruments all on my own, I was reading at one-and-a-half years old, and I excelled at every hobby and sport I ever tried. It just didn’t make sense to me that in two whole years I couldn’t learn how to simply get someone’s attention, and then keep it long enough to share my thoughts.

After an arduous 2 year struggle, I came back to Human Design and really dove into living my strategy as a last resort. I embraced my Human Design as a Projector, and found nearly instant success in every area where I had once failed for a lifetime… and that’s what this article is about: my discovery that although I wanted to believe I am in complete control of creating my reality, there are still energetic rules I have to play by if I want to be in my flow.

I understand now that while we all have the same capacity to create our reality any way we please, there are energetic forces at play that go deeper than just what we create with the mind. This article is about the discovery of the energy I carry as a Projector that interacts with others – energy that I finally surrender to; energy that I now know I cannot change.

My experiences growing up…

I’ve always felt like I am walking on eggshells with others when it comes to conversation. People either don’t hear me, someone else gets the credit for what I’ve thought of, I get blamed for trainwrecks I’ve seen coming and tried to prevent by shouting from the treetops to deaf ears, or I piss people off no matter what I say.

I’ve spent a lifetime feeling invisible and unheard and I never knew why. When I was growing up, on a daily basis I would have the most puzzling experiences with other people at school and in my community – I would offer my thoughts on the topic of conversation, and be talked over as if no one heard me speaking. The person next to me would say exactly what I just said, and suddenly everyone in the group would agree and give them praise for what they had said. If it was a solution to a problem, the other person would get full credit and the rest of the group would look at me and tell me, “why didn’t YOU think of that? You’re supposedly the SMART one!” These experiences left me baffled. This wasn’t just occasional – it was constant.

I really did know all the answers…

All my life I have been able to see deeply into problems to find the most logical and efficient solution almost immediately. All the people around me would go through trial and error for long periods of time before trying my solution, and in the end I was always right. Whatever the issue my peers or family faced, I saw a clear solution – but no one ever, ever, EVER heard me when I offered that solution. I may as well have been a ghost.

I always pissed people off…

For my whole life I never understood how I could crack a joke, be scowled at by everyone as if I was annoying and not funny, only to have the person right next to me immediately crack the same joke in the same tone of voice and witness everyone bust out into hysterics, hailing them as the group’s comic.

Generator friend of mine once told me that she found me to be cumbersome when I comment in conversation, and that she really wishes I would just not make any comments because I’m just not funny. This was a complete contrast to my experience with other groups of people, as some of my circles of friends thought I was the funniest person in the world! After my friend’s comment, I became almost entirely silent in her presence, walking on eggshells when I felt inspired to crack a joke or make a comment.

I could never hold people’s attention… so I developed a habit of speaking as fast as possible…

On the rare occasion when someone did hear what I had to say, their attention on me was very short-lived. It was almost as though I only had 30 seconds to get my point across, and after 30 seconds they would literally walk away or start a new topic of conversation, even when I was in mid-sentence!

Feeling unheard is bad enough, but I often felt invisible as well…

I remember one time when I was about 12 years old and studying at the local library, I found a lost dog and called the number on the tag so he could be reunited with his owner. When the lady came to pick him up, despite me handing her the dog and saying that I was glad I was quick enough to catch him, she didn’t hear a word I said. Instead, she looked at the two people with me and asked, “which one of you found him? Here’s $20″ – and she handed my friend the reward. It was as though I was literally invisible to her.

Through these experiences I came to believe that no one wants to hear what I have to say. It seemed pretty obvious to me. The only problem is that I had way too much valuable information to share with people! I turned to writing to satisfy my need to express myself.

I never thought about why people didn’t want to hear what I had to say until I spent three solid years of my life doing transformational work including Landmark Education, specifically the Landmark Forum. As part of my transformational work I was taught to look inside, to look deeper and find the root of the lies (my story) I have been telling myself my whole life. When I thought about how I have always believed no one wants to hear what I have to say, I had a difficult time finding what was underneath that belief. Why did I believe that? I wanted to answer this question internally – not externally. In other words, despite the evidence of being ignored, interrupted and hated every time I opened my mouth, I wanted to find the answer inside of me. What did I believe about myself that caused me to think no one wanted to hear what I have to say?

After 2 years of no answer, it was finally suggested to me that perhaps maybe I believed that what I had to say wasn’t important. I tried that on as a possibility… and it didn’t fit AT ALL! My body told me that wasn’t true for me, but I listened to my mind instead – thinking it was probably true and I just wasn’t able to see it. I figured it was my “blind spot.” My coach was telling me to keep looking deeper and deeper because I probably had some kind of limiting belief about the importance of what I have to say… and I would find it if I just kept looking.

Two years later, as I dug deeply into myself to find my truth I realized that there really was no limiting belief about the importance of what I have to say. I have always known that I have incredibly valuable information to share with people and the world. If anything, I have always been overly confident that my knowledge could solve everyone’s problems if they would just listen to me.

I had no idea that in order to get people to listen to me I simply needed to wait to be recognized – and once I was recognized, I would have that person’s full attention. I had no idea that in order to get people to take my advice, all I needed to do was wait for them to ASK for it. I spent a lifetime offering advice to people who never listened, yet once I began allowing people to come to me and ask for my advice, now anything I suggest is treasured like gold.

Guest Post – Does Anyone Really Believe This Stuff?

You know how Human Design Projectors really light up when they get invitations?  Did you know that we also light up when giving them?  I was minding my business on Facebook… I mean like literally doing some business postings … when I received an invitation to Like the page “Human Design Projector”.  I love invitations and this one lit me up, so I went over there and liked the page.  I perused some of the posts and discovered a bunch of links to articles which looked really good.  But when I clicked on them they actually took me back to an error page on this site!  Imagine how confused I was at first.  I hadn’t written them, but I really really wanted to read them.  I posted an inquiry on the Human Design Projector Facebook page and got a comment back from the author who had since moved on.  Turns out he was the prior owner of this very site humandesignprojector.com!  He graciously posted the articles for me to read, and I loved them so much that I invited him to allow me to give them a home here on the site where they originally lived.

This is the first of those articles.  Please enjoy, be inspired and know that you are not alone!

questionDoes Anyone Really Believe This Stuff?

Written December 31, 2011 by Ethan Emerson  www.facebook.com/poeticrhythms

Throughout my life of 31 years as I write this post, I’ve come across many helpful systems and tools that have allowed me to grow and transform my life in ways I never dreamed possible. Many who have witnessed just the last 3 years of my personal transformation have just been in awe of all that I have accomplished and have said that they have never seen ANYONE accomplish the growth I have in such a short period of time, or even in one lifetime. I’m thrilled to be recognized and acknowledged for my progress, and that recognition is the fuel for my fire!

… and yet it’s completely not-self, all the recognition is not me, nor is it real. All I did was act like a Generator, go-getter to get this, get that, accomplish this and that, for what? And who cares? Meaningless praise… for someone I am not.

With that said, I want to address an important question that comes up often, not just in reference to the Human Design System, but any system, concept or tool that has any hint of other-worldliness to it. By other-worldliness I simply mean that which cannot be scientifically measured and unanimously agreed upon in the scientific community.

The question is about BELIEF. Many people say they don’t BELIEVE in Human Design, or they don’t BELIEVE in astrology. My point of view is that when I’m presented with a system, strategy or tool – if it works for me I’ll use it, and if it doesn’t work for me I won’t use it. I don’t need to believe in something for it to work or not work. I simply need to try it – test it – and it either works or it doesn’t.

I usually find a balance between utilizing different elements of many systems. I’ve never found a tool that I believe to be true. I simply don’t believe in constructs to start with. I believe my truth, and that’s all there is. And even that is ever changing.

There are aspects of Human Design that I don’t resonate with, one being that I don’t take for a fact the statement that it takes 7 years for everyone to decondition themselves since the day they begin learning about HD, because one does not need to be consciously aware of the HD system to begin deconditioning. I’ll give you one example. I have a friend who is a Projector whose design is 90% identical to my own. We share more than we don’t share. She is beginning her deconditioning process alongside me, and yet before she learned about HD from me, she had no label to apply to her experiences. She still hasn’t had any interest in learning about HD, and yet, inherently inside of her is the intuition to make decisions as an emotional authority Projector. She does it better than I do. I’m the one learning from HER and she doesn’t even know anything about Human Design.

I did a great deal of deconditioning prior to even knowing Human Design existed, so when I got my chart read it was fun listening to aspects of the way I used to be, knowing consciously that I have truly transformed my life in ways that most people struggle with for a lifetime.

Back to science for a moment…

When something is accepted as undeniable concrete scientific fact, people don’t need to directly experience it to believe it. In fact, there are many instances where people have directly experienced something yet still believed the opposite just because science said it was true.

The best example of this is when Galileo suggested that the Earth revolved around the Sun. The Catholic Church along with all of their followers believed the Sun revolved around the Earth. Prior to the church admitting their mistake, people were experiencing the Earth revolving around the Sun yet believed it was the Sun revolving around the Earth.

What we believe is not necessarily true; what is true doesn’t require belief in order to be experienced. Galileo’s story proves how easily we can be experiencing a reality we don’t believe to be true.

Do you believe in God? Do you believe in Jesus? Do you believe in aliens? Do you believe in telekinesis? Do you believe in psychic powers? Do you believe in the Tarot? Since God, Jesus, Aliens and Telekinesis aren’t unanimously agreed to actually exist by the scientific community and can’t be be proven in a way that satisfies the scientific community, belief in all of these things depends exclusively on a person’s direct experience.

Did you know that no one has ever seen an atom? I know, it sounds crazy but it’s true. Since the atom is the foundation for much of science, does that mean all of physics and Quantum Physics are to be declared inaccurate? Perhaps. But not necessarily. Just because an atom cannot be seen doesn’t mean we don’t experience the effects of interacting with the atom.

Just because it was not visible to everyone on Earth back in Galileo’s day that the Earth revolved around the Sun doesn’t mean they didn’t experience the effects of such reality. In fact, everyone experienced the effects of the Earth revolving around the Sun – they just attributed it to a different cause. Saying the Sun revolved around the Earth didn’t change anything but the words out of their mouths. The effects remained the same. The reason for those effects mattered not.

Scientists all agree that the atom exists despite never having seen one – they agree only by experiencing the effects of interacting with something they can’t see, but call an “atom. “All of us believe in atoms, too. We are interacting with something unseen that we call an atom. Call it an atom, magic, or call it God – either way, the point is that even hardcore science that is agreed upon by every sensible being on this planet is based upon belief. We can’t see it, but we believe it exists.

I find the atom paradox quite entertaining, as the scientific community and the religious communities all have one thing in common: both believe in something they consider to be the foundation of life, yet neither has ever seen it. One calls their building block of life the “atom” while the other calls theirs “God.”

In the end, belief is utterly unimportant. Finding what works for YOU in YOUR LIFE is all that matters. Whether you do or don’t believe in Human Design doesn’t matter. Many tools and systems exist in this world in order to help us gain a clear understanding of who we are – and no matter which systems and tools you use, all that matters is that you live a life that is pleasing to you!

What Human Design Projectors Do While Waiting for Invitations

Hello and Happy New Year to all the Human Design Projectors in the house! The Human Design New Year brings influences which will challenge Projectors to become more empowered, but the temptation is there to initiate and act without an invitation.This video addresses the biggest question Projectors ask about their strategy to wait for invitations.  Watch and get some insight on how to make your waiting less frustrating and more productive.

 

Projectors are Like Transducers

auraOver in the Projector Survival Study Group we’re talking about health and work.  It’s no surprise to any Human Design Projector that running out of money is a common theme among those Projectors who are making the shift from living as their not-self to following their strategy and authority.  In this module of Kyle Curry’s course, “The Projector’s Survival Guide”, Kyle mentions many times the essentials of honoring your strategy and authority as the key to attracting the right invitations which preserves your health.  I’ve listened to this course many times, but this time, as I go through it with this wonderful group of insightful and inquisitive Projectors I got a deeper insight on what this means.

It’s so easy to get distracted by the stuff (like running out of money) that’s happening on the outside… ’cause bills coming due and physical pain have a way of doing that. But Kyle said, and I agree, the work is on the inside. When your inner environment changes, stuff on the outside starts to match it. We’re like little transducers who walk around transforming our world… at least that’s how I experience it.  Projectors have the undefined sacral center and often have a lot of other open energy centers.  We’re made to take in energy, amplify it, and when it comes through the sacral center, we can use it to create all kinds of great things as long as we’re wise about how we’re using it.  Open energy centers transform energy into something bigger than it was before.  When we Projectors are following strategy and authority we enter into the process of becoming aware of how to best use the energies we’re taking in, and by honoring ourselves in this way, it’s like the energy gets modulated into a different frequency.  The degree that we honor ourselves determines the type of frequency we put out there.  The honoring part is what allows us to emit the frequency of what we desire that’s right for us so the right people feel it, recognize us and invite us into work that is so right for us.

Want to get in on the next Projector Survival Study Group? Go Here