Here is a great video from Zeno (a Human Design Projector) about how to recognize when you’re being conditioned. She starts by talking about how to recognize conditioning in the heart / will center and makes some suggestions about how to deal with it. Zeno brings up a very valuable question in this video.
“How are you reacting to being conditioned?”
Conditioning is a fact of life. We are all conditioned, either by others or by the transits, all the time. Awareness of how you are reacting to being conditioned is a key to successfully dealing with the Projector not-self theme of bitterness. Mismanaged conditioning is a huge source of pain for all Human Design types. And for Projectors it can fuel bitterness to the point where it throws you out of balance with your true nature.
In the Bitterness to Joy Program you get to explore how you are reacting to conditioning in your life (past and present) in order to understand how it is fueling your bitterness.
When Human Design Projectors experience the not-self theme of bitterness it’s like a barbed wire fence which hinders the flow of connection and invitations. Recently a Projector asked me how to get rid of bitterness. She saw it very clearly in herself and it was eating her up. As we worked together it became clear that the deep conditioning in her open centers was fueling much of her bitterness. Because she was newly embarking upon her Human Design experiment much of this conditioning was coming up in technicolor to facilitate her awareness of it. In time the bitterness will abate, but for now it is her best friend that let’s her know when and how she is out of balance with her true nature. It’s not a curse or a punishment. It’s an integral part of the Projector’s guidance system.
The not-self theme is always present. It’s like the underlying go-to emotion in everyone’s life regardless of your Human Design type. It doesn’t matter how “good” you get at following your strategy. It never goes away. I have observed the natural frustration in Generators, the anger which rises in Manifestors and of course the bitterness which exudes from Projectors, sometimes when they don’t know it themselves. Regardless of your type, when you’re following your strategy the emotional ground substance embodied in your theme will eventually no longer control you. It will become a very valuable part of you which lets you know when you’re off track or not taking care of yourself.
As a Projector it’s not always easy to see when bitterness is coming up. And depending on the baggage of past conditioning that you’re experiencing in the present moment, it’s not always easy to identify or deal with bitterness as it crops up. Sometimes it consumes you, and unlike the client who knew it was eating her up, it may just be the sea that you swim in without even knowing. We’re not here to know ourselves. We’re here to know others. But the knowing of others can get way out of balance when you have a lot of openness in your chart or unhealed pain from the past. When you carry your conditioning unconsciously, or when you are weighed down by years of painful baggage, bitterness becomes a poison rather than a truth serum.
Do you feel like bitterness is a curse? Does it overwhelm or elude you? You’re invited to join us for a four part course especially for Human Design Projectors: