Tag Archives: projector exhaustion

Undefined Sacral Gone Wild – Projector Exhaustion

You have probably figured out that as a Human Design Projector with an undefined or open sacral center it’s really difficult to know when enough is enough.  This note was roughed out last week while I was waiting for my car to be serviced.  It is an attempt to chronicle and share my experience with Projector exhaustion before the freshness of it left me.

Thursday February 4, 2014

It is Thursday morning.  My undefined sacral has been on a binge of activity since 3:45 am on Wednesday.  In the past 30 hours I have had about 9 hours of sleep… 5 hours last night and 4 hours the night before.  But instead of feeling that I am at the crashing point I feel more like I’m compulsively driven to keep going.  This is a dangerous place for a Human Design Projector.  My undefined sacral could easily continue to take in and amplify the sacral energy of others, eventually burning me completely out, if I let it.  I will not let that happen, because I am aware of the dynamic, and will bring myself down to a place of balance over the next couple of days.  But first permit me to share how this happened….

My Generator husband, who works away from home 3 weeks at a time, had to leave on a 5:20 flight on Wednesday morning.  I am his designated driver.  So at 3:45 we were up and headed for the car.  When I returned home I immediately went back to bed, but was unable to sleep.  My Manifesting Generator stepson who is a senior in high school, was up early doing his homework.  Even though he was doing his best to be quiet, the energy of his 3 motors which connect to his throat permeated the house.  There was no way I was going back to sleep.  It turned out that my stepson did’t feel well, and as the sun rose, he needed to discuss his need to go to the doctor and stay home from school.

exhausted catI normally have a ritual on “change-over day”… the day my husband goes back to work, which involves resting, rebooting and doing a general energy cleanse of his sacral influence.  It requires that I have at least a few hours alone during the day to discharge and release energy.  Needless to say that didn’t happen.  Here’s what did happen … Being all revved up from exhaustion and the extra infusion of motorized energy in the house (from my stepson’s unexpected stay at home) I was extremely active during the day.  When I get over-tired I get really active (unless my root pulse goes off … which it didn’t).  So Thursday was filled with activity.  I even took our dog for a long walk, did grocery shopping and created a video.  Well around midnight I finally made myself get ready for bed.  But guess what happened when I got in bed?  You guessed it… I couldn’t sleep!  It was after 1:00 when I finally got to sleep.  And just like clockwork, our dog awakened me at 7:00 this morning to go outside.

As I lay in bed early this morning trying to grab a few more moments of rest before getting up for my car appointment, I had that scrambled in the head kind of feeling … like part of my brain was on overdrive, part of it was sleeping and part of it was sputtering on and off.  I knew I pushed myself past the point of no return.  It feels like my body just isn’t right… like my ability to think and be alert is only partially functioning.  My body is tired but feels unable to slow down.  In general it feels like all my parts are sputtering along in several different directions.  A total collapse would feel welcome at this point, but that’s not how it normally goes for me.  It’s like I have to car that lost it’s brakes down a steep hill for a while until I can find a place to pull over. If I don’t pull myself gently over, I will have a total collapse which will take weeks for me to recover.

So I could blame my imbalance and exhaustion on my husband’s early flight, or the presence of my stepson when I needed alone time.  But, truth be told, I set myself up way ahead of time.  A week before my husband’s departure I got lazy about sleeping in my own space, and decided to sleep in the same bed with my husband.  (If you didn’t know about sleeping alone to keep your aura clear … it is really worth the experiment)  Sometimes I can get away with this practice when I go to bed several hours before my night owl husband and awaken and get out of bed several hours before him.  But this time our clocks were synchronized and I was retiring later and sleeping later than usual.  So by the time we got to Tuesday night (the night before he left) when we had to go to bed early, I had trouble sleeping.  I attempted to unwind before he came to bed, but it was too late.  I could feel how I wasn’t ready to sleep.  And I could feel how his motorized energy was affecting me.  I could feel how my energy field wasn’t fully discharged.  The truth was that, because I had not been discharging my energy all along I was half full already!

So the moral of the story? … Practice impeccable self-care and sleep hygiene at all times…

Exhaustion on couch

I know… easier said than done right?  Well the next best thing I can do is to turn this around before it gets too much more out of hand.  The next 2 days are going to be recalibration days where I consciously unplug, bring myself down and discharge my “undefined sacral gone wild” It starts with an epsom salts bath when I get home …. doing only what absolutely needs to be done in my business and around the house…. getting to sleep early tonight  by getting cozy in bed waaaayyyy before my planned bedtime… relaxing and drinking chamomile tea.  Then tomorrow morning I will spend a luxurious amount of time in bed… reading … relaxing … stretching… then follow up with another epsom salt bath.  And what about the presence of the triple motorized Manifesting Generator?  My sweet, sensitive stepson got a tv for his bedroom for Christmas …hallelujah!  One of these days I’ll write about how he actually needs all that noise and activity to thrive.  But for tonight I will ask him to take his activity to his room so I can have some space to come back to me.

For another great article about Projector exhaustion Click Here

Extreme Projector Exhaustion

Human Design Projector, Wanda Henke, Shares Her Story of Exhaustion and Recovery:

Hi everyone! I thought I would share my experience with extreme projector exhaustion. I’m sharing now because I want to encourage those of you who are also feeling this – it can get better if you allow yourself enough time to recuperate.

exhaustion revisedEven though I learned about Human Design about 5 years ago, I really did not understand the exhaustion piece for projectors until recently. I’m in my mid 60s, so I have been living like a Generator trying to be a Manifestor for a long time. I was extreme in my desire to outwork everyone else. Of course, I was just trying to get that recognition that we projectors need and want so badly. I retired from my latest career as a high school math teacher last July. I had not planned to retire at this time – I really could not afford to retire – but the situation at my school became untenable. I was teaching full-time at a public high school and part-time at my state’s online public high school. Once I retired, I could not work for the state at all for 6 months. I was really scared about the money piece, but by the time I actually stopped working, I was so exhausted I could hardly breathe. I had been exhausted for years, but I had kept pushing because I felt I had to.

I won’t go into details about my finances because I don’t want to remind myself of that negative energy, but basically it was a total collapse. The good news is that after 6 months of almost total rest, I finally feel like I will be able to “live” again. I have spent a lot of time – sometimes many days in a row – doing nothing but watching movies or old TV shows. Reading a book took too much energy. I fought this need to do absolutely nothing at first. I told myself a week was enough, then a month was enough. Finally after I got into this course (The Projector’s Survival Study Program) and listened to the recordings I gave in and decided not to worry about whether or not I looked “weak” to my relatives and not to worry about whether or not I would have enough money to meet the few obligations I had left. I allowed myself to do nothing – for days on end. I just listened to my spleen and did only those things I felt like doing.

Gradually, I began to do some reading and studying instead of TV. I had one thing that I did each week that took all day and was exhausting, but it was not something I could give up. At first, I would sit for 3 or 4 days and do nothing after this trip. The recovery time became less and less as the weeks went by. About 2 weeks ago, I decided to do some errands the day after my trip. I was very pleasantly (surprised) to find that I was not exhausted. I started to get some real inspiration and about 2 weeks ago, I had a vision of the perfect next venture for me. I had this idea when I originally decided to retire, but at that time it seemed like it would be too slow to make money and too much work to accomplish. Now it seems like it will just flow and I don’t feel any struggle. I know the money will come as it needs to. That part is already starting. When I contacted the online school to let them know that my 6-month exile was over, they were excited to have me back and asked me to teach 2 sections this semester. This is the perfect amount of work for a projector and will allow me to move up from survival while I start to put the pieces of my new venture in place. I’m doing my new venture as a projector – I will just do what I love to do and let those who want to partake of my wisdom come to me. Life is good and getting better!  🙂

If you are just starting to recover from Projector Exhaustion – it will get better if you just allow yourself time to recover!

Wanda HenkeWanda currently teaches high school math online with the North Carolina Virtual Public School. She retired last summer from teaching math face to face. Prior to teaching math, Wanda was an earthquake engineer. She and her husband developed a soil testing device used in earthquake engineering applications. Wanda found Human Design about 5 years ago, but did not really start trying to understand the implications of being a Projector until about 6 months ago. Wanda feels that Human Design is the key to successfully using all the wonderful self-improvement tools that we have today. Her first goal is to understand and love the unique person that she is.