You have probably figured out that as a Human Design Projector with an undefined or open sacral center it’s really difficult to know when enough is enough. This note was roughed out last week while I was waiting for my car to be serviced. It is an attempt to chronicle and share my experience with Projector exhaustion before the freshness of it left me.
Thursday February 4, 2014
It is Thursday morning. My undefined sacral has been on a binge of activity since 3:45 am on Wednesday. In the past 30 hours I have had about 9 hours of sleep… 5 hours last night and 4 hours the night before. But instead of feeling that I am at the crashing point I feel more like I’m compulsively driven to keep going. This is a dangerous place for a Human Design Projector. My undefined sacral could easily continue to take in and amplify the sacral energy of others, eventually burning me completely out, if I let it. I will not let that happen, because I am aware of the dynamic, and will bring myself down to a place of balance over the next couple of days. But first permit me to share how this happened….
My Generator husband, who works away from home 3 weeks at a time, had to leave on a 5:20 flight on Wednesday morning. I am his designated driver. So at 3:45 we were up and headed for the car. When I returned home I immediately went back to bed, but was unable to sleep. My Manifesting Generator stepson who is a senior in high school, was up early doing his homework. Even though he was doing his best to be quiet, the energy of his 3 motors which connect to his throat permeated the house. There was no way I was going back to sleep. It turned out that my stepson did’t feel well, and as the sun rose, he needed to discuss his need to go to the doctor and stay home from school.
I normally have a ritual on “change-over day”… the day my husband goes back to work, which involves resting, rebooting and doing a general energy cleanse of his sacral influence. It requires that I have at least a few hours alone during the day to discharge and release energy. Needless to say that didn’t happen. Here’s what did happen … Being all revved up from exhaustion and the extra infusion of motorized energy in the house (from my stepson’s unexpected stay at home) I was extremely active during the day. When I get over-tired I get really active (unless my root pulse goes off … which it didn’t). So Thursday was filled with activity. I even took our dog for a long walk, did grocery shopping and created a video. Well around midnight I finally made myself get ready for bed. But guess what happened when I got in bed? You guessed it… I couldn’t sleep! It was after 1:00 when I finally got to sleep. And just like clockwork, our dog awakened me at 7:00 this morning to go outside.
As I lay in bed early this morning trying to grab a few more moments of rest before getting up for my car appointment, I had that scrambled in the head kind of feeling … like part of my brain was on overdrive, part of it was sleeping and part of it was sputtering on and off. I knew I pushed myself past the point of no return. It feels like my body just isn’t right… like my ability to think and be alert is only partially functioning. My body is tired but feels unable to slow down. In general it feels like all my parts are sputtering along in several different directions. A total collapse would feel welcome at this point, but that’s not how it normally goes for me. It’s like I have to car that lost it’s brakes down a steep hill for a while until I can find a place to pull over. If I don’t pull myself gently over, I will have a total collapse which will take weeks for me to recover.
So I could blame my imbalance and exhaustion on my husband’s early flight, or the presence of my stepson when I needed alone time. But, truth be told, I set myself up way ahead of time. A week before my husband’s departure I got lazy about sleeping in my own space, and decided to sleep in the same bed with my husband. (If you didn’t know about sleeping alone to keep your aura clear … it is really worth the experiment) Sometimes I can get away with this practice when I go to bed several hours before my night owl husband and awaken and get out of bed several hours before him. But this time our clocks were synchronized and I was retiring later and sleeping later than usual. So by the time we got to Tuesday night (the night before he left) when we had to go to bed early, I had trouble sleeping. I attempted to unwind before he came to bed, but it was too late. I could feel how I wasn’t ready to sleep. And I could feel how his motorized energy was affecting me. I could feel how my energy field wasn’t fully discharged. The truth was that, because I had not been discharging my energy all along I was half full already!
So the moral of the story? … Practice impeccable self-care and sleep hygiene at all times…
I know… easier said than done right? Well the next best thing I can do is to turn this around before it gets too much more out of hand. The next 2 days are going to be recalibration days where I consciously unplug, bring myself down and discharge my “undefined sacral gone wild” It starts with an epsom salts bath when I get home …. doing only what absolutely needs to be done in my business and around the house…. getting to sleep early tonight by getting cozy in bed waaaayyyy before my planned bedtime… relaxing and drinking chamomile tea. Then tomorrow morning I will spend a luxurious amount of time in bed… reading … relaxing … stretching… then follow up with another epsom salt bath. And what about the presence of the triple motorized Manifesting Generator? My sweet, sensitive stepson got a tv for his bedroom for Christmas …hallelujah! One of these days I’ll write about how he actually needs all that noise and activity to thrive. But for tonight I will ask him to take his activity to his room so I can have some space to come back to me.
For another great article about Projector exhaustion Click Here